Parents in Denial
Dr. Winnifred Tang | October 30th, 2010 | No Comments »Some of my most difficult clients in the past have been physicians. It wasn’t because they were rude or ignorant. It was because they were “sophisticated clients” with access to too much information and yet, they didn’t have the subject matter knowledge to weed out the “misleading” from the “informative.”
Don’t get me wrong: I love my physician-clients because they are smart and educated and we can communicate on a similar wave length. The problem is that sometimes they hide behind Google and refuse to face the real diagnosis. They just keep “googling” on for an alternative explanation instead of accepting my advice, for which they have paid.
One of the examples that stands out the most from memory is the case of a family with three boys. It was a most unfortunate case: two out of three of the boys had problems. One of the boys had a case of “classic dyslexia” — he was a bright and verbal boy, smart and witty, but once he had to deal with reading text or producing it, he would be extremely anxious. This boy did very well shortly after I took over his case and his parents couldn’t believe their child was able to improve so quickly. However…
The other boy, his older brother, did not have dyslexia, although the parents wished he had. If it was just dyslexia, it would have been a lot easier to deal with compared to what I had suspected he had. The reason? The older brother had what I believed was some sort of child psychiatric issue. This was clearly outside my area of competence and I had advised the parents to arrange for a child psychiatric assessment as soon as possible. “No! Not possible.” was the response. The father, who was a GP, “googled” and “googled” (and that was in 2003, when the web was really dumb and not as intuitive as it is now). One day his diagnosis was autism and another day his diagnosis would be some other big medical term. The problem? Unfortunately, mental illness carries a stigma and the parents did not want to face the possibility that their child might have problems of a psychiatric nature.
It was sad, but a few years later, I saw the boys’ mom and she told me that, finally, they were lining up for a child psychiatric assessment. Less sophisticated clients would have simply taken my advice and sought a medical professional for help.
The problem was: indeed the father was a medical professional, but his specialty was not child psychiatry!
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